Twas The Night Before Christmas

A Christmas poem for you all. Merry Christmas. And a special welcome to our new readers.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the court

Not a thing was stirring, except basketball shorts.

Calipari had hung his checkbook with care,

In hopes that new recruits would soon be there.

The Jayhawks were all snuggled in their beds,

While visions of a title danced in their heads.

And Tomas Verde in his handkerchief, and SC in his cap

had settled down for a nice Xmas nap (together!)

When outside there was an explosion,

and we ran to see what was the commotion.

We ran to the front door as fast as we could,

and looked over at the pile of wood.

With a santa outfit and shoulder length blonde hair

we knew that Beadle was out there.

She whistled and yelled, and called them by name,

and out of the shadows, some college basketballers came.

On Xavier! On Wall! On Cousins! On Pittman!

On Scheyer! On Singler! On Harangody! On Whittman!

To the fields, to the sky

fly away all, fly!

And then we heard in the fireplace a splat

as Beadle came down the chimney wearing her hat.

She was dressed all in fur, from head to toe

with her dog LeRoy Jenkins in tow.

She was wearing a Nets jersey, and, as an aside

she was prepping for her Horns to lose to the Tide.

She brought out a sack full of gives she’d prepared

and she gave them to all of us with care.

To SC, she gave Iowa a win

to Harvard, one more year of Jeremy Lin.

To Tomas Verde, a lifetime contract for Billy D

and perhaps, the ability to compete in the SEC.

To tallguy, she gave Duke some wins, and UNC a fail,

not to mention putting Roy in jail.

To all college bball fans, she gave games on every station

and the best present of all: Kentucky on probation.

I, of course, got the best present of all

as I had put up some mistletoe in the hall.

After she gave us our presents, she hopped in her sleigh

and her carriage swept her away.

As we saw her silhouette as she took flight,

We heard her scream: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.



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10 responses to “Twas The Night Before Christmas

  1. mrejr8234

    so what did i get?

  2. younglefty

    Beadle can’t bring me a second year of Derrick Favors or even a functional point guard? Worst. Santa. Ever.

  3. Somehow this thing wouldn’t break into paragraphs

    /formatting fail

  4. Hehe… enjoyed that, even tho’ I’m not a huge college hoops fan.
    Looking forward to reading more of *you* tho’…

  5. Paolo X

    Great stuff Fetch no wonder you were incommunicado most of the week …or some sort of hangover or do over after finals? (not necessarily an alcholic one)

    Check your e-mail — the site made SportsNation on their annual show towards the end. It was mentioned specifically by the site idol Michelle Beadle herself as well as shown on screen as Cowherd engaged in somewhat ethnically offensive conduct instead of just making fun of DWA or something more truthful (those of you on the East and West coasts will know more likely what I am talking about).

    Free publicity is almost always great publicity unless of course you are like Tiger! Kick ass for the new decade.

    “Don’t look back. Something may be gaining on you.”

    –Satchel Paige

  6. Lil Fetch is all grown’d up. Good job, buddy.

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