Australian Open Live Blog

Good morning everyone! It’s roughly 2:00 here in la casa de Fetch, 3:00 on the East Coast, and for you lucky West Coasters, it’s just 12:00. Tonight we take a break from the wonderful world of college roundball to watch what should be an epic Australian Open final. It has a lot to live up to, as last year Rafael Nadal took out Roger Federer in 5 sets. I also didn’t get to bed until about 7 AM last year, so for selfish reasons I am hoping this match is shorter.

This looks to be an extremely even matchup on paper. Every single time  you count Federer out he does something to make you shake your head, such as a straight set destruction of Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who was on an absolute roll, in the semifinals. The safe money is definitely on Fed.

But Andy Murray is extremely talented in his own right. The 22 year old is perhaps the one who will assume Federer’s title as the best tennis player in the world. Already the highest ranked British player since Fred Perry, Murray is attempting to be the first Brit since Perry himself in 1936 to win a major. Although, unless you’re some kind of a moron who doesn’t think Scottish people are British, you already knew all that.

This is just Murray’s 2nd grand slam final. He no doubt has matured since his last one, a 2008 US Open final loss to Federer, but he is still in relatively unfamiliar territory. Murray no doubt has tons of majors to rack up in his career, but I am going to follow my #1 principle of tennis here: never pick against Roger Federer in a big match. I think he goes 6-4, 6-7, 7-6, 6-3

I’ll update the post after the jump. See you in a half an hour for the official start of the liveblog. Feel free to get acquainted with the thread beforehand

2:32 – This is our 123rd post. Weird. Anyways, welcome party people. I am fresh off a quick nap and watching John Mayer storytellers. I have to say, I am a fan.

2:36 – Yadda yadda, some talk about Murray’s backhand (which is phenomenal, by the way) yadda yadda.

2:39 – Why is Chris McKendry here doing anything? She is terrible

2:43 – Interesting tidbit from Fowler: Federer won his first major in his 17th appearance. This is Murray’s 17th major.

2:45 – A little dicey, but Fed holds.

2:47 – Double fault for Murray. Fighting some nerves. Unrelated note: ESPN needs to feature Patrick McEnroe more.

2:49 – Fed breaks Murray. They were talking about some of the smack talk Fed has been saying about Murray. Fed talking smack is awesome.

2:52 – To Cassino: I have no idea wtf is going on with your comments. Also, in tennis news, Murray breaks right back.

2:53 – I forgot to mention this: We have a prize for comment 1,000 on the blog (probably a guest post about whatever you want) and there is a chance we could get there tonight. So keep that in mind.

2:54 – Can’t say I’ve ever understood the no talking during play thing. Basketball players shoot free throws with 20,000 people screaming obscenities all the time.

2:57 – And the first challenge of the night goes Murray’s way

2:58 – Today someone told me Andy Murray wasn’t British because he wasn’t from England. Lulz all around.

3:00 – Some really good defense there. The fact that they aren’t the most powerful guys but have tons of variety is going to make for some siiiiick points.

3:05 – Federer saves a couple break points, then goes ace ace for the hold.

3:08 – An underrated challenge of liveblogging: holding it in when you have to pee. I’ve also had some stomach troubles today if you get my drift.

3:10 – Rankings update: Roger Federer retains his #1 ranking, Novak Djokovic moves up to #2 and Andy Murray moves to #3. Nadal is 4th, but none of this will matter for the next Grand Slam because the French Open reseeds.

3:12 – Federer is definitely getting the best of Murray right now, making him run all over the place.

3:14 – Dear Andy Edwards: Where the fuck is Grad? Get his bitch ass in here.

3:18 – They flash some stats on the screen, and of course I think: How cool would sabermetrics in tennis be?

3:21 – Federer breaks Murray and now is serving for the set.

3:34 – Sick point for Federer as he wins the first set. Bathroom time!

3:28 – Murray holds, and has a different color shirt on.

3:31 – McEnroe throws Cincitucky under the bus.

3:34 – Well then. Fed does what he wants when he wants.

3:36 – Huge break for Fed and we could all be hitting the hay earlier than we thought.

3:42 – This is like 2004 style Federer. There’s a reason why he’s the best ever.

3:44 – Since the comments are being stupid I’ll have a new post for the 3rd set. Bear with us.

3:47 – fuck it, we’re doing it now. Bang it here for the new post



Filed under non basketball

109 responses to “Australian Open Live Blog

  1. Andy Edwards

    Is it the “in” thing to do to FIRST!!! here on Beadlemaniacs?

    If so, FIRST!!!

    • Andy Edwards

      By the way, Murray looks super white trash with that baggy shirt and totally methed out in that picture. Is he from Missouri?

      /sarcasm, because obviously…he’s…not American, because obviously…we can’t ever win in men’s tennis

    • I think you’re our first ever first

  2. Federer. Straight sets. Should be a much earlier night than last year.

  3. james

    Hard to believe that was just last year considering where it looked like their careers were going at the time to where they are now.

    I like Federer too but wouldn’t be too shocked if Murray won. He’s going to win a major at some point.

  4. hey kids. Fetch is teh ghey. WOOO!!!

  5. I really like Patrick McEnroe.

  6. Andy Edwards

    At this rate, Federer won’t win a point.

  7. no worries, dude. I won’t be here long. Just wanted to say hello.

  8. Andy Edwards

    At this rate, Murray won’t win a game.

  9. shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits

  10. fine, ill join the fucking party.

  11. Andy Edwards

    Haha, he said “Andy’s mom.”

    Sucks that my name is Andy, too.

  12. this isnt the youtube clip of Kramer being a ball boy!
    thanks for the invite
    wanks uncontrollably

  13. At least I got a shout out in the thread. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

    When is this new site supposed to be arriving?

  14. would be awesome if this thing went 4 hours

  15. Fetch, it took me a while to warm up to John Mayer as well. The man can fucking shred though, if of course it’s possible to shred on an acoustic guitar.

  16. where you from fetch? i’m from philly so its 4am. also, i am eligible to go and get mcdonalds breakfast right now, while your midwestern ass has to wait another hour.

  17. andy,
    we have the same wordpress layout for our blogs, this is a little awkward

  18. Billy Buckner

    What’s up ya cunts?

  19. Billy Buckner

    Moderation? Really? I’ve commented here before.

  20. Billy Buckner

    I take it back.

  21. for the record, im cadillactime on TBL. not that it matters because im relatively new there. i like to use my first name here so you guys can stereotype the italian.

  22. Billy Buckner

    Also, check out the John Mayer Trio. I was one to think John Mayer was something of a Striesand, but he rocks the shit in that band.

    Straight blues, and I’m really into the blues.

    Also, Davy Knowles & Back Door Slam kick the balls off of John Mayer. Davy Knowles is gonna be HUGE.

  23. buckner,
    were you the one i was talking about that went to kutztown and roomed with a bonner guy?

  24. Andy Edwards

    fetch- No idea where Grad is. I was looking forward to him being here, too. Just not the same live threading something without the obligatory O in words with a long i in it.


  25. Billy Buckner

    Yeah, that was me. Forgot about that.

  26. Philly sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    /lives in Philly

  27. greatshatnersghost


  28. NE Philly. Byberry & Bustleton. Go Phils!

  29. i had a near catastrophic accident tonight. i got loaded last night and naturally the next day im on the shitter like 5-6 times.

    well tonight i went over this girls house, laid pipe then we were watching tv. we usually go a couple rounds so i was sticking around and then i felt my stomach acting up. i had to shit so bad. i told her i had to take a leak and i was in the bathroom which is located directly next to her room and i thought about shitting there but i was like nah i cant. so after i got out of the bathroom i told her i wasnt feeling good and had to go home.

    the car ride is like 10 minutes to my house, but my God ! there’s no worse feeling then thinking you are going to shit yourself yet no more gratifying feeling to know you’ve made it to the toilet just in time. those first 10 seconds on the shitter were probably my most honest moments, ever. i thanked God repeatedly.

    • Email this story to Big Daddy Drew. It’s fit to print.

    • cassino

      I was dating this girl and we were heading from my house to hers, and about halfway between something I had eaten started to disagree with me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. We got to a red light and had to Chinese fire drill it so he could drive while I concentrated on not shitting myself.
      We made it to a gas station, and she had to wait while I destroyed the restroom. Come to think of it, that was the beginning of the end of that relationship.

  30. Billy Buckner

    I’d be more pissed if I didn’t know you were already in ND.

  31. My reply thing really isn’t working at all. Apologies.

  32. Billy Buckner

    Apparently I had to say that twice. Just in different phrasing.

  33. Billy Buckner

    This is a complete mess.

  34. greatshatnersghost

    “Does she at least have A DAUGHTER for me or something?”

    -what Fetch was really asking.

  35. this has become a clusterfuck!

    fetch got colin cowerd’d

  36. greatshatnersghost

    what the fuck is going on? The website is screwing up so bad this next comment will probably wind up over at Deadspin.

    in which case I better throw in a fart joke or an inside joke.

  37. Billy Buckner


  38. Looks like this match is over.

  39. I can only suggest clearing your cookies. That might help.

  40. Billy Buckner

    This match got ugly fast. That point was a raping.

  41. ThatsSoTaguchi

    “Although Philly is a pretty kick ass town in some parts. Never met a heroine dealer I didn’t like”

    Would that be someone who just pimps out Wonder Woman or do you actually get to purchase Wonder Woman for the purpose of slavery?

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