Steve Lavin’s Hair Greases the Broken Wheel

Since 2003, the floor at Pauley Pavilion hasn’t been quite so shiny.  They are currently preparing a Zamboni for the arrival of a savior in Rosemont, Illinois.  (where?)

Lavin, who took some other guy’s players to a 2001 Pac-10 Coach of the Year award at UCLA, hasn’t graced a sideline since 2003.  Lavin was one season away from returning UCLA to glory (source redacted)  What has this new Blue Demon excited about Lav’s interest is his that greasy mop situated on top of that massive, basketball knowledge vault (may or may not be true).

There is no doubt that the Blue Demons are two seasons away from the Final Four with Steve on the sidelines.  Well, maybe three.  This correlation is drawn based on the Calipari theory.  If you look at Calipari, you’ll notice that Lavin is nearly up to the greasy level of the Wildcats’ coach.

Rough estimation based on highly complicated stuff.

KenPom is working on an exact formula and we should have the exact outcome shortly.  It is safe to make the assumption that with Calipari’s Batman-like exits he’s definitely edging Lavin in slimeball efficiency.

No, seriously.  Hire this man.  The least it could do would bring back some exposure to a team that has been the cellar dweller of a 16 team super conference for five seasons.  Lavin’s high profile image as an ESPN analyst can at least make people aware that DePaul still has a basketball program.  While it’s not wholly surprising that a team whose arena isn’t even on its campus doesn’t have a big fan following or recruit well, it’d be nice to not have to wait 25 attempts to come away with a conference win.

Best News EVAR. (ESPN Chicago)

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2 Comments

Filed under Big East

2 responses to “Steve Lavin’s Hair Greases the Broken Wheel

  1. Pingback: Lancelot Links | For the public, by The Public

  2. mrejr8234

    It’s “Greases the squeaky wheel.” why would you apply grease to a broken wheel? That just doesn’t make sense.

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